Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Fear and the nuclear winter

I just finished two books I've been reading. 'The Road" by Cormac McCarthy and 'On the Road" by Jack Kerouac. The later I have been trying to finish for the last three years, I had gotten so disgusted with the choices that the charecters, Sal and Dean were making when I first started the book that I only made it half way through. Three years later I finished the book last friday and boy what a fantastic journey that was, traveling east to west across the north american continent with a final journey to Mexico City.  It was a great intro to the beat poets!

A friend let me borrow his copy of 'The Road' Sunday night and I had it finished by Tuesday afternoon at second brake at work. Great read. Hope, fear and survival in a dark and brooding world. I very much identified with the man in the story. Making his decisions out of the fear of danger or loss. The boy in the story could see the fear and need in other peoples lives and vary much so wanted to reach out to them in spite of his fathers opposition. 

Looking back over this last move that we have made to Medford I wonder if there was some fear in that decision. Trusting only my own reasoning and making decisions quickly. I confess I made many decisions in 08' out of fear and selfishness. I pray that God gives me the courage to repent and trust in him. That I make myself accountable to good men around me. I'm sure that'll take some time to establish, but it must be done. Else I wander the barren land in loneliness.

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